is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
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He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
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my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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