why didn't you poke me back
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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