tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
