he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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