Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
