Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
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