You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
