Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
