Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize