Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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