hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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