Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
