I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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