he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
