My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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