She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
