Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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