I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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