i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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