She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
