He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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