So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
