Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize