I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize