better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
