Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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