I'm sorry my penis didn't work
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
