i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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