Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
