I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
