Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
