thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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