Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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