I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
