So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
