Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
jump out the window naked night went bad
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
