Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
