do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
