I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize