hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
