I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
