This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Drake has all the answers
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
