please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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