Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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