Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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