Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
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Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
we should paint friendship bongs
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