Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
