That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
