Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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