He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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