All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
