How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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