Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
