So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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