69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
