he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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