You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
