I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Fuck appropriateness.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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