How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
