you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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