I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
farters have to be the big spoon...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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