Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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