I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
